Saturday, December 24, 2011

The Truth About Dinosaurs

Once upon a time mighty beasts roamed the Earth, carnivores and herbivores, all enormous in size.  This was the age of the dinosaurs, before even the first primates existed, though the rough beginnings of our brains may have at this time been steering the direction of some lizards.

The atmosphere was rich with oxygen at this time, and life flourished.  It is very possible we may never have existed, this wasn't a planet where little guys like us had much of a chance, but something happened, and most of this life vanished, and quickly.  Some say a meteor struck the Earth, killing much of the life and hastening an ice age that killed the rest.

That's the story the mainstream media would have you believe anyway.  However, we here at the conspiracy nut have stumbled upon a massive cover up.  In Kentucky there is a museum that depicts humans and dinosaurs side by side.  It is a 'creationism museum', which roughly translated means 'not a museum'.  It more or less takes the position that the Flinstones got it right, including the part about housewives not wearing shoes.

Since this museum clearly establishes that dinosaurs and humans existed together, the picture of what really happened to the dinosaurs happened came into view.  Somebody murdered the dinosaurs, and the media is still trying to cover it up, using a clever tactic of bait and switch, holding out the bait of evidence and switching out opinions for facts.  Nice try media, but no sale.

Of course now that we know the dinosaurs were murdered, we have to find a suspect.  We don't have one yet, but we have noted an interesting coincidence.  Did you know Kennedy's secretary was named Dino, and Lincoln's was named Sawer?  Please let us know if that turns out to be true, it would really help us crack this case.

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